Outed by Borat, whacked by Trump, Rudy goes from underboss to under investigation…

Vince Rizzo
5 min readMay 12, 2021

Days of Whine and Rudy

It has all come down to this for Rudolph W. Giuliani. The former Federal prosecutor who heroically faced down the mafia bosses in hard-won racketeering trials now finds himself the target of a Federal investigation. Rudy sold his soul like a Canal Street huckster passing off counterfeit Louis Vitton handbags. Using the influence of his client’s high office, Rudy trafficked in foreign intrigue. His ham-handed attempts at dirtying up Trump’s most feared opponent for the 2020 election backfired. Trump used Rudy well and now has allowed him to twist slowly, slowly in the wind. Stealing words from another corrupt president who abandoned his sinking crew, Rudy channeled Richard Nixon snotty whine: “I am not a crook.” Rudy lamely denied a crime for which he was not being investigated. No, his crime is much worse. His transgressions are venal and deadly, like those of the mobsters he once prosecuted in the name of justice.

Corruption is a recurring theme in the modern Republican Party. The party of Lincoln has morphed into a loose association of whiners, poor losers, tricksters, and thieves. As a party, they are most adept at stealing elections and depriving others of their civil and human rights. They eschew the responsibilities of governance because they don’t believe in them anymore. Donald Trump didn’t do this to them, they did it to themselves. Like Dr.Frankenstein, these losers created their own monster.

The Reagan myth

Republicans have spent the past quarter-century boosting the notion that Ronald Reagan was the second coming of FDR. In their telling of the myth, Reagan was a “great communicator” whose affability and steadfast anti-communism reordered the modern world. Reagan was at best mediocre and at worst oversaw an administration that challenged Nixon’s for its corruption. Reagan’s strong suit was his quasi-ability to act. His wordsmiths, Ken Khachigian and Peggy Noonan primarily, wrote words that could have been better written for the real Gipper. Reagan’s convictions, such as they were, were honed in Hollywood and mirrored his B-actor status there. Noonan’s “shining city on the hill” valedictory written for Reagan was as out of character as the prettified language she used to put lipstick on George W. for whom she came up with the “1000 points of light” motif. Noonan’s genteel hogwash was wasted on the boy-president who lit up Iraq and Afghanistan using Dick Cheney’s manufactured intelligence on phantom WMD’s.

No, the history of the past 40-years is replete with examples of Republican failures and mendacity. George W. Bush was a disaster. His father, the best of the lot, was a one-termer whom the party turned on for the sin of raising taxes after he saved Kuwait from Saddam Hussein. Donald Trump is the runt of that jaded litter. They all represented a party losing its way, bereft of ideas and strategies to enhance the lives of average Americans. A party that found itself at odds with the demographic inevitabilities they refused to acknowledge. Their wars on science and education, their rants against the “cultural elites” who live in their coastal “ivory towers” are evidence of their lack of creativity. I sold my tower and bought a small rancher with the fortune I earned workin’ for the man. They can’t even create a foil more repugnant than themselves to hate. The 21st century for them has been beyond difficult. As a party, they have been stuck in the mid-20th century fighting Commies, hippies, and folks who are not white like them. But then, who among us is that white.

Back to Rudy

So, Rudy reusing a 50-year-old whine is just about right. The party and he are equally derivative at their core, completely unable to find a compelling reason to maintain white rule, white privilege, and male dominance. They simply fake it. Their ideal country is one with multiple fill-in-the-blank signs at the borders, restaurants, theaters, and other socially exclusive sites — “No ____________s allowed.”

So, let’s take Rudy at his word, let’s accept that he is not a crook, or, perhaps as a good Catholic he received an ecclesiastical pardon from a friendly local confessor. But that leaves a host of other bad things that Rudy hasn’t confessed to. His political chicanery in the service of the former guy is one hell of a transgression. As his Don’s underboss, Rudy traveled the world doing Trump’s bidding. The real boss knew that to keep Rudy close all he needed was to keep him needy and greedy — Rudy’s pretensions would catch up to him in the end.

Fancying himself a horndog, Rudy would become an easy mark for Baron Cohen’s Borat character who lured him into a compromising position, tempting him with his supposed 15-year-old daughter, Tutar. Rudy, in character, couldn’t resist, he was helpless in the presence of an underaged child. Dirty old men sometimes mistake the root of their allure. Tutar had to be rescued by her movie father — saving Rudy more so than the 24-year-old actor playing his offspring. But for Sacha Baron Cohen’s quick intervention, Rudy’s prostate scar could have been memorialized for all time on screen.

When history finally folds the moblike reprobates making up Trump’s crew into its pages, it will place them in a chapter containing lives too unbelievable for fiction. Rudy will be right there among them. Despite his years as a famed NY prosecutor, then as “America’s Mayor,” he will be remembered as a minor character who sold his soul for one more shot at fame. Given a chance to author a more complimentary parting soliloquy, his will always begin with the words, “I am not a crook!”

Being called a crook may be the least of Rudy’s concerns. In what will certainly be seen as his final act, Rudy will not be remembered for his past glories, but rather for his disloyalty to the nation. His behavior in the end as chief Trump enabler will seal his reputation as a traitor, a fool, and a creep.

Originally published at https://vincerizzo.substack.com.



Vince Rizzo

Former president of the International Association of Laboratory Schools (IALS) and a founder of a charter school based on MI theory.